Post 14 Insights on my not “shining my light” – not writing my Books.

’07 Jan 13 After I was activated, I realized later that while I had gotten to the stage of having most of the material for my next books a few years ago, I wasn’t personally ready. That’s to say that I still had more healing to do and more cycling through the various stages and levels of "walking my talk" to get me to "shine my light."

In my journey, I first I had to get my light ignited within me (light my candle) in order for me to see my light. Once I had it lit and seen it and seen it for what it is, now I never want to put it out and neither do I want to hide it, I want to share it. BUT… that was also a problem. Those that I wanted to share it with didn’t want to see it or they would say that I was preaching or that I was holier than thou. They wanted me to hide my light or to not shine it so bright.

In the years following my “lighting my candle,” so to speak, I cycled through various chat groups and forums on the internet, to personal groups I tried to form, to friends and family to personal relationships and then to myself and then I’d reverse the order and work my way back out again. And after that, I do it all over again reaching a different level of healing and understanding.

I feel that that work I’ve done in the past few months has helped get me to this point. Having again “walked my talk” and cycled through family and friends and then out into the public world but this time on a very physical and personal level. That is to say, that I now had direct and personal contact, from very close friends and expanding that all the way out to meeting thousands of people while working at Dollarama. In the course of my interactions with employees and customers, I choose not to deny my light, but to let it shine and not keep it a secret or hide it under a bushel basket.

A few days ago I was talking with to Irene, a friend of mine, (Post 11) about how I was blocked on writing my book and while we pulled out some issues I still had to look at and heal, I still felt that there was something missing and now I feel that this is it, as it all makes sense. All these experiences these past few years were necessary in order to prepare me for this moment and also the coming changes.

As I wrote that I just remembered a dream I had a few years ago where I had this wick type oil lantern that I attached to my bike. I lit the lantern and then peddled around the streets to let people know that others were alive. I don’t remember what had happened but all the electricity and water were out and the roads were blocked with stalled cars and debris and that it was dark, even the daytime was almost as dark as the night… The streets were deserted of people but I felt that some had taken shelter in their homes and it was those that I was trying to reach.

The writing and publishing my book will be another stage or level of my growth and healing experience on a global level. After that there will be the phone calls and meetings, book signings, lectures, workshops, interviews, TV appearances, one cycle after another. And intertwined with this and doing their own cycles are all the other issues that I have, that still need to be healed. And again, they will move from within, to personal relationships, to family and friends, and continue in an outward spiral and then they will begin their return cycle to start all over again, but now on a higher level of consciousness and awareness.

And so the journey into the unknown continues…

John

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