Post 39 Lost and alone

Problems and confusion… I find it interesting that when I say to people that I have a problem…. (take my recent computer issues).. that the normal comment 99.99% of the time is … "What's the problem, do you know what it is?" My reply is…"if I knew what the problem was.. then it wouldn't be a problem…"

For the past few days I've been going through scattered and fragmented feelings of being lost and alone. While some would say that I have a problem… I look at it from a different point of view. While this presently is an issue for me, I'm looking and feeling for the cause of his so-called problem or issue of why I feel this way.


An analogy would be that if I stayed on the marked highway and followed the "normal" beaten path… I would eventually arrive at the same place as everyone else who is also following the same old beaten path… I would get from A to Z but I'd miss all the in betweens that are not on this safe and comfortable "normal" beaten path…

If I had felt the urge to go off the beaten path, then as I left the marked road and entered the fog or jungle.. I'd lose sight of all my old reference points. This would be a new experience, not wrong or bad, but rather one of following my calling, or urge, in search of who knows who, what, where, when, why or how I'm going to find it.

Also, when I'm in this place, this space of feeling lost and alone, I'm really feeling it because that is what I am… lost and alone…. There are no sign posts, no road or path and there is no one else here, yet at the same time I feel that there is someone else in this space that I need to find, someone that is also lost and alone.

What makes this journey all the more real is like I said before, there are no sign posts, no road or path and there is no one that I can talk to or share this experience with because if there was…. then I wouldn't be feeling lost and alone… There is no other way that I can experience this… and at the same time, that is also what is confusing and frightening. I feel that what I'm looking for is a part of me and I know that this is the only way that I can find it.. I'll never find it on the "normal" beaten path.. because it's not there… because if it was.. then it wouldn't be lost…

And so the journey continues…

JR

PS: I find it interesting that as I was searching Google for images for this post and I came across this one of the T-shirt…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s