Post 44 Anniversary…

This morning Marian came downstairs as I was making breakfast which is unusual, as she usually sleeps in a couple of hours unbles she has to go out. As we sat down to breakfast she said, "happy anniversary." I stopped and thought for a moment and remembered that today, March 22 was our wedding anniversary. When I mentioned it she said, "yes, that was 38 years ago"…

I commented on how time has flown and how things have changed. I waas also flooded with memories and feelings and emotions that I've shared with others, but never really discussed with her. I turned and commented that that was the day that my life changed, that I lost a friend and gained a wife. That was what she had told me on the first night of our honeymoon, "that she wasn't my friend anymore, that now she was my wife and that I was her husband."

I told her that threw me and I went in a lot of different directions, and that I didn't know what to do or where to turn after that. She said that was the beginning of her depression, that things just got worse after that and that she has never been able to get out of it. I replied that getting married never made you depressed, you were depressed before that, referring to other recent conversations that we've had. I commented that she was depressed as a child when she had to leave Scotland when her father came to Canada to find a job and that she also had other issues after that. She basically cut the conversation off and started to change the topic, so I left it at that… I felt I had said what I had to say… There's more, but that will come out when the time is right…

JR

PS: In case you were wondering… we were married in '69 and divorced in '89

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