’07 April 20 The problem with point-of-views arises when a person can only see their point-of-view and they only has acceptance for their point-of-view. Whenever people get together, and it doesn’t matter what form of a relationship it is, as long as there is agreement, then there is no conflict. They might not have exactly the same point-of-view, but their commonality, something that they hare in common, is what keeps them together. Conflict, like in the fable of the six blind men and the Elephant, arises when one person has an opposite or completely different point of view. For example, if one person likes to give and the other to receive, there is no conflict, but if the person on the giving end now wants to receive and the one receiving… doesn’t want to be the person giving… then there is conflict. Either one or the other, or both then tries to convince, coheres, negotiate compromise, or use guilt or shame to get what they want and that is for the other person to not really have to accept their point-of-view, but just do what the pother wants them to do… There is a fine line between having a point-of-view, and using it to control others. It’s not about right or wrong as much as accepting the fact that they have different points of view and that each person is entitled to their specific point-of-view, BUT… not to force it or to over-ride another persons point-of-view, or free Will, unless of course it’s the person’s choice to give up their free Will by denying their true response.
Over-powering another’s point-of-view doesn’t even come into play when you have acceptance for the other person’s point-of-view as well as your own. You might not be friends, but you know where you stand. However, if the other person can only see their point-of-view, to them, it will feel that the person, who is not in agreement with their point-of-view, is wrong and is trying to change their point-of-view. It’s not about the other person trying to change your point-of-view, it’s about being you open and getting off of your point-of-view and expanding your awareness to explore another’s point-of-view so that now you have awareness of two points-of-view.
Even though I may not know all the finite details of another person’s life experiences and point-of-views, what I do know, what I can feel is that what they have, is based on control, manipulation, denial, guilt and shame. And in “that” I’ve been there done that. I know how that works, but now I’m also beginning to understand and know what NOT being in denial is like and unless the other person has acceptance to end their denials and to walk their talk, they will never understand my point of view, because that is what it takes and you can’t fake the experience. They can pretend to be ending their denials, but I can smell when someone is blowing smoke and is still in denial because I can see and feel the situation from both sides.
There are millions, no billions of different stories, experiences and point of views, but they are all based in denial. I know that I’m different, and I now accept that I am different and not the same as the “others” that are still in denial, but at the same time I feel like I’m one in a billion and at times it seems that I’m the only one that can see and feel things from this side of the line. Not that I’m totally free of denial, but I am free to recognize it, although I admit, it is easier to recognize it in others than in myself.