'07 May 25
People are afraid of conflict, even the people that seem to thrive on conflict are really afraid because if they didn’t over-power and win, or make themselves right, then they would have lost and would be wrong. If anyone dares to challenge them, they fight all the harder so that they will not loose their position of power and “control” as without that, they would feel powerless and have no control over their life and their experiences.
The people that are afraid of conflict try to fight, run or just give up and try to compromise, co-operate or try to cope in anyway they can so that the stress of conflict is resolved, at least for the time being.
There is really no need to have conflict in your life unless that is your choice. That is a simplified statement as having choice is not simply a matter of denying conflict, but rather facing it and healing the issues so that there is no longer any conflict.
Another imprint, programmed and belief that people have is this silent and holier than thou approach as they deny that “they” would ever say or act as the people that are apparently creating the conflict. This unseen role of denial is the “silent killer” as it creates the illusion that the person forcing themselves to be kind, generous, supportive, non-argumentative, non-confrontational; never angry is an all round “nice and loving” person. They believe that they are and others that are in alignment with their denials will agree with them and see them as what they are portraying and acting out. All the while, their real anger and rage is denied and kept hidden… until it suddenly seems to pop up and posses them to do what they so adamantly deny they would ever do.
To quote Shakespear
"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players."
"Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.”
"Lord, what fools these mortals be!"
Another version of the unseen role of denial and conflict is played out with the “do-gooders” that are out to save others or the environment or some other “worthy” cause. They see the oppression and struggle of others or the slow poisoning and destruction of the planet as conflict that they want to resolve.
Ignorant and feeling powerless within themselves, they seek to rid the outside reflection of their own inner conflict. They believe that easing the pain and suffering in others or in protecting the environment, even in a small way is going to change the “cause” those that are overpowering others or the environment. They are merely re-acting and treating the symptom and not dealing with the cause which is not on the outside, but within themselves.
There are basically two types of people, ones that are going around trying to be nice, kind and loving and the ones that go around denying that what they are doing is not nice, kind or loving. It’s a never ending circle and until we get off the not so merry-go-round, things wouldn’t and can’t change as we are not being REAL.