Aug 12 Sunday 5:00 p.m. I feel different. I can’t explain the feeling but I feel that something has changed or shifted in me. I feel like I’m in this quiet space that feels soft and fragile, yet at the same time incredibly strong and protective. I just got a sharp pain across my lower back, second chakra. I feel I want to go to sleep. I’m lying on my bed but I’m still writing. I feel that there is also a sense of forgiveness on both sides in not understanding what each side was accusing the other of doing and how they were hurting each other and themselves by believing false truths.
I can feel my Will thinking that maybe now it can express what it feels and also what it desires to create. I also feel my Spirit saying that he welcome’s the Wills input and that he wants to share ideas of what he also desires. I see this man and woman coming together in this huge, and I mean huge room with lots of big windows floor to ceiling. He’s laying down his sword and shield and she is doing likewise. She’s now wearing a long off white following gown, rather Celtic in fashion. She has flowers in her hair, and her hair changes colour from blond to brown, to red, to black and to other colours. He’s more like a knight, but now his armor is off and he’s dressed in a flowing shit and I want to say tights, but that is not right.
Now I see aspects of rage, terror, heartbreak from both sides coming forward, Each are battle scared and torn, and weary of all the fighting. Will terror is looking at Spirit terror and each are feeling what the other is feeling and there is love, compassion and acceptance flowing between them. Will rage and Spirit rage are also feeling each other as are Will heartbreak and Spirit heartbreak and they are also doing Will and Spirit terror are doing.
It’s the same but different. Each felt that the other was doing the same thing to them but from a different perspective. Both were fighting for what they thought was survival and truly believing that the other was the enemy, but they weren’t. It was the old imprints, programs and beliefs that were fueling this inner battle.
6:00 p.m. I feel a sense of relief and joy in my Heart and Body as they too are seeing that this power struggle is based on old imprints, programs and beliefs that happened before anyone was even conscious enough and aware of what they were doing and how it was going to affect creation.
It’s just like what loving people are doing now, that while they have loving intent, they are not conscious and aware that their intent is bent and twisted by the old imprinting and denial, and that is what is creating the unlovingness and unpleasant experiences in their reality.
I feel that everyone is in shock and awe that this finally has happened. That the “blame game” has stopped as has the “denial game” It’s like there are all these male and female warriors that have been fighting tooth and nail, and suddenly, they all find themselves in the same room and instead of fighting they have laid down their weapons, taken off their armor and allowed themselves to be vulnerable. Everyone is looking at everyone else in a different light and while there are still some feelings of doubt, the feelings of doubt isn’t that this isn’t going to last, but more like, what’s next. What do we do now as our mind is blank? I don’t know what to do? I don’t hate you but I also don’t know how to love you as what I though was love wasn’t or I felt it was only possible in my dreams, and that I could never realize it in real life.