07 Aug 18 (Continued from Post 142) I feel that my mind shuts itself off. It also has the power to shut my feelings off and to also block any feed back that my body is giving it. It flips a switch and everyone just goes numb or silent and when they regain awareness they are confused and disoriented .They have to back track to find out where they were and what they were doing or feeling. And then when they do re-group and the Mind feels them on the move, he again throws the switch and the cycle repeats. But with each cycle I also feel that some progress is being made as I feel that my Will, Body and Heart consciousness are gaining ground, one step at a time.
My Mind has to let go of the control and of the imprints and programs that are running it that say that responding to Body and Body’s feelings are going to mean that it will no longer be in control or in a position of power. But it’s not about being in control, like a dictator, but about accepting the other parts of the self, the Will (feelings and emotions), Heart and Body as equals. Body doesn’t want to be in control, but neither does it want to be controlled.
I feel hat my minds is now confused and again it wants to sleep. (big yawn) I just felt my Minds terror that if it lets Body speak, that Body will rage at him and tear him to shreds for what my Mind has done to my Body. Body is holding rage, a lot of rage. Ahhh! I can feel the Rage in every joint in my Body that wanted to move the way it wanted to but couldn’t as it was forced to do what the Mind wanted it to do. (Continued on Post 144)