Post 148 Insights on denial of desire.

'07 Aug 23 I was involved in the R.U.O.W. tribe in a post called Original cause – page 35 and while the conversation thread started out being about Gays, it ended on an entirely different note. If you are interested in reading the thread, here is the link.

Two insights that I got out of this were;

1) How other people felt and saw me as coming across as 'all knowing' and a bit un-sensitive.

2)How my "all knowing" infered to them, that my processing and position in life was one of being "higher" and/or "better" than others. That I was seeking very specific aspects of other's processing and measuring them entirely on these qualities, and how people in denial didn't like being called on their denials.

My response to the first was that yes, I quantify a person by what I feel, and that includes what I feel from the words spoken. The words unspoken (denied). The feelings I'm picking up and finally the meaning of the words themselves. And when I express what I feel, people are uncomfortable with that as they don't want to hear that.

My response to the second was an awareness that I was in denial of what I really desired. I felt and believed that I would be judgmental and selfish in asking for what I wanted and desired. What I desire is to communicate and share with people that have the same intent as I do in ending denials and in healing and empowering themselves.

Instead of being real, I was still in denial, still "trying" to be "nice" and "kind" and trying to help those that I felt were loving…. but confused and in denial….. But, in reality, these loving people hadn't made up their mind as to what they really wanted to do; they were playing games with themselves and with others, including me that was also playing a game.

If you read the thread, you will see it all unfold.

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