’07 Oct 02 3:45 a.m. I just realized that I have judgments against the form of my body. That the parts of me that are hurting and in pain are judged not attractive and not acceptable because they don’t make me feel good. What I wasn’t realizing was that they are reflecting what they are holding but that’s not what they are. I started having the realization when I felt my kidneys hurting and right away I was thinking that my problem is my kidneys. Then I realized that there is nothing really wrong or bad about my kidneys, it’s what is attacking them and what they are holding and trying to get rid of that is causing me to feel this discomfort and pain.
Now the confusing part is that everyone complains and judges anything that doesn’t please them, as being the cause of their problems. This is really complicated! There are complaints and judgments that are made against form in denial, like I was doing with my kidneys and then there are complaints and judgments made by my kidneys that don’t like what is being done to them. Next to denial, I feel that judgments against Form is one of the biggest issues we need to heal. Form has been judged and denied, almost as much as the Will has been.
Hummm? What I express on the outside is what my body is experiencing on then inside and when I really think about it it’s also reversed, as what I’m holding on the inside is being experienced on the outside as consciousness creates reality. But reality is not just created by what we are mentally conscious and aware of. Reality is also being created by our sub-conscious imprints, programs and beliefs and also by the parts of us that had consciousness but are now unconscious. As nothing that was created and had existence can cease to exist as the very thought of it, gives it existence.
Hummm? So Essence that was created with more denial of their Will has a physical reality of appearing to have lees problems that Essence that allowed their Wills to move but were struck and denied for moving, and so were imprinted. I’m beginning to see and feel how the Spirit Polarity seems so carefree and easy going in one sense and how they are also controlling and manipulating in another as they need to feed off of the Light, the energy of a Will Essence person that is in denial. They really can’t live on their own as they have little or no Magnetic Will Essence, so they need others to care for them, to work for them.
To add to this confusion of From and Essence, there is also Unloving Essence that has taken the same form and appearance as Loving Essence in denial, with being in pain and suffering and in need of help, but in reality, they are feeding off other Will Essence that can’t stand their own pain and suffering and so, in denial, they reach out to help and save others that are suffering, in other words, they are also working for unloving Essence and giving it their power. It’s just like a Loving Essence person that has been used and abused and has sacrificed themselves to the Unloving Spirit Polarity or another Loving Spirit in denial, all in the name of love.