’07 Dec 14 2:07 am I’ve been tossing and turning for the past two and a half hours trying to get to sleep. I finally stopped thinking and started to observe what I was thinking and I found that it either had something to do with the past, a past experience or the future and in most cases; the future was related to the past. My Mind was constantly moving between past and future and so it’s no wonder that I can’t do what I desire in the present moment, the Now, which is to sleep.
So now that I know that I’m not manifesting what I desire, in the present moment, how do I let go of this past-future cycle that my Mind is on? Hummm… I’ll let you know what I find. (I put my journey down and turned to solve my dilemma)
8:15 am I rolled over and as I became aware of, and acknowledged my past and future thoughts…. they disappeared. The next thing I remember was waking up a couple of hours later to a dream. I had a drink of water and then rolled over and went back sleep. I had three dreams in total and the only one I can remember in part is one where I was going to get married (again) to my ex-wife. It was the day of our wedding and I was confused as I didn’t want to marry her as I was planning to leave to go on my journey…
Hummm….. As I’m writing this for my blog I’m feeling that this dream was symbolic of my denied feelings when I got married. I had an uneasy feeling about getting married, but when I expressed them to my friends, they assured me that it was normal and were just the pre-getting married jitters. Now just what I'm to do with this…. at this moment…. is unknown to me.