Post 238 Not wanting to be like “them”

08 Jan 16 Last night I had another “dream” in which I was with a bunch of guys that I knew from the neighborhood and from school. I was asked to join them when they were going out to have some fun. Thinking that they seemed like nice guys, and happy to be accepted, I decided to take them up on their offer although I didn’t know what they were going to be doing and I didn’t ask.

It ended up that when they got together, they became a gang, like a band of outlaws, doing whatever they wanted which was something that I didn’t see when I saw them as individuals. At first I was confused as we were going to a house which I though, belonged to one of the guys, but as the night went on I realized that they had picked this place because no one was home. In the process of “having fun” they were trashing and destroying the place and other peoples personal stuff.

One guy that I knew personally took me on as his buddy, his side-kick, not because we had something in common, but because I had a car that he wanted to drive. He coaxed me into letting him drive and when I said OK, he took the wheel and drove as if he was a crook trying to escape the police. He was speeding, running stop sign, crossing curbs and medians, driving on the wrong side of the road and even on sidewalks. I complained that he was destroying my car and other peoples property and he said, relax, everything will be fine, I’m just having fun and I’m not hurting anyone. I couldn’t argue with him as no one was physically hurt, and I couldn’t tell if my car was damaged as I was still in the car and couldn’t see the outside.

Finally he pulled off the road and backed up a small country lane. He said he was tired and wanted to sleep. He took the car keys out of the ignition, pulled the front seat forward, and then jumped into the back seat leaving me the cramped front seat. I tried to sleep but couldn’t as he was moving around and making noises, and he was also asking me questions. Finally he decided to get up as it was getting light outside and we got out of the car to stretch our legs. As I walked about I saw two houses that had been trashed and partly burned. There were broken children’s toys, torn or soiled clothing and wrecked personal items scattered all around. Confused, I looked and over at him and saw him smiling at me. He smiled a smirky smile and said, “Yea, we had a couple of good parties here.” I woke up.

As I analyzed the dream, I realized that although they seemed to be “nice” guys (as individuals) on the surface, they weren’t loving as they were only being nice to get what they wanted and when they go together as a gang, then their denials became exposed and their real self emerged. I also realized that I didn’t want to associate with them anymore, or to be anything like them.

JR

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