08 Feb 14 Today I realized (from the previous two posts) that I’m still manifesting my denials. When I’m in denial, I’m manifesting the opposite of what I want, because what I want… is the opposite of what I’m experiencing. Since I have no acceptance for what I am experiencing, I’m still creating my undesired reality by default.
I don’t want to feel TRAPPED, controlled, or not being in control and not having the freedom to physically move and do what I want… and so not having my truck is creating this feeling of being trapped and unable to move.
As I wrote that I felt that the real issues go back to my childhood, of being trapped with the parents I have and the mother that is trying to kill me, trapped in that I have to go to school, trapped when I can’t physically move or get away from those that are trying to harm me. I also feel lost without my truck as I even consider it my second home as it basically holds all the things I own (and me) when I’m on the move. Hummm?
Right place. While there may be no right place for me in terms of a physical house, my truck is my right place, my home, my sanctuary, and an expression of freedom. At the same time, my truck also represents the most freedom possible for me, next to the additional freedom of flying, sailing or other forms of transportation.
Ahhh! Transportation! The Astral plane offers another level of transportation, another level of freedom that is beyond, yet linked to that of the physical reality…
My god!!! I’m living the same life. Are you homeless too? I’ve been homeless for close to 20 years, and off & on the past 10 years before that, ever since I left home. I have no home. I need a home. Yes, I thik I do feel guilty for not running away, which I eventually did at 18. I was mad at myself fo waiting so long to run away from the abuse. I haven’t seen her for over 30 years! She’s still alive. I keep running away. I keep escaping bad situations. So you live in your truck? How do you fare? I can’t visualize myself having a home. I’m old(er) now and getting older daily and scared.
“Sorry this comment could not be posted”! :S It’s like I get rejected everywhere! 2008, you’ve prob abandoned this blog.