’08 Mar 17 I’ve been thinking, or rather arguing in my Mind about a couple of things that are bothering me at work. It’s about the others that I work with and while their intent is to try to help me, they are in fact, making things more difficult. Their being “nice” is not so nice, as I have to re-do or clean up after them. To make matters worse, that’s how they were taught to do things by the boss and when things are not as they are supposed to be, it falls back on me and I’m responsible, yet I have no authority to make the changes that would solve the problem.
So the real issue is not what they are doing or not doing… but why it bothers me. Ahh! My boss is like my mother… “Do as I say, not as I do.” And if it was her fault, she would never admit it… Hummm? I had it, but I lost it as soon as I started to write. This is still bugging me. Is it a perfectionist thing with me? No, I don’t feel it is, as much as it’s about picking up or cleaning up after people and not having the power to change things.
Hummm? I was thinking of the litter bugs and the slobs that just do what they want and don’t care about other people, places or things. It’s like they’re the destroyers, like locust, they consume everything they can and then move on, leaving nothing but suffering and destruction in their wake.
This is the first time that I really don’t like my job. A couple of weeks ago there was a staff meeting and I was told that I could also attend if I wanted to. That comment made me feel alienated and unwanted, like I wasn’t part of company or staff. There has been a lot of other “little” things that have been said, that keep me feeling that I’m either not significant, important or accepted as part of the group.