'08 Apr 29 I’ve been working on editing my book this morning, but I’m just not into it, as I feel myself getting side-tracked and at the same time I’m feeling this faint heartbreak and while its faint and almost undetectable, at the same time it feels huge and overwhelming.
It’s hard to describe what I’m feeling. It’s like looking at the very tip of and iceberg that had for some reason sunk beneath the surface of the water and was now just breaking the surface and it’s this tip, that’s breaking the surface that I’m feeling.
As I’m writing, tears are beginning to form in my eyes, but as I wrote that in my journal, they’re gone.
I watched American Idol night and Neil Diamond’s music was being sung by the contestants. There were a couple of songs, or rather “words” in the songs that moved me and they were “I’m alive”… It gave me chills and I felt a connection to what I was feeling earlier and that there was this part of me that wanted to scream… "I AM"…… "I AM ALIVE"…. "I am not dead"…