’08 May 12 10:00 am I received two email questions regarding issues with abusive relationships and not being able to do what they want or desire, yet are attached to the “money” and the material things that the relationship provides. They don’t want to loose the money or their “toys,” yet they want to get rid of, or change the people that have the money that brings them this material happiness. They have attachment to material things.
I also replied to a question in one of the Tribes that had to do with attachments, so this issue is coming up for me all over the place and it’s no coincidence that I’m also working on my attachments to places and things.
It’s one thing to say that I’m going to “let go” of my attachment to material things but it’s quite another to do so. I realize that I’m still attached to the material things that I feel I need in order to survive and that I’m just like the people that asked me the questions, I’m afraid to let go of things in fear that I wouldn’t survive.
Humm. I heard a soft voice say, “You can choose to let go now, or you can choose to have no choice by the changes that are coming.” I thought of the cyclone in Burma and the earthquake in China that have killed thousands and left millions homeless.
I feel I’ve already let go of a lot. I’ve let go of my business, home, and a lot of my possessions, including money, so now I’m down to what I can carry in the back of my truck and the few dollars in my pocket. How far do I have to go?
I need my truck (to carry me and my stuff)
I need clothes (but not all that I have)
I need shelter (I don’t need a house but I need my tent and camping stuff)
I need my journals (2 boxes only 1/3 transcribed)
I need my computer, printer and accessories.
I need my cameras
I have about 50 books that I don’t really need (What I’ve kept of the over 500 I had)
I have some nic-nacs and stuff that I don’t really need, that are more of a reminder of the past and of expectations of when I’ll use them again in the future.
11:55 am ….Trust now that a BIG issue as letting go of what I think and feel I need to survive is also about giving up CONTROL…
Humm? I never saw control as an issue and that’s part of what’s behind my not wanting to “let go” of the material things. I need to be in control because if I’m not, then all hell will break loose and who knows what will happen and I’ll be worse off that I am.
Humm? That’s another judgment I have that I wasn’t aware of, that I’m not in a good position.. I feel it’s part and parcel of my fear of the unknown. Letting go of the things I’ve had is like stripping away my clothing and leaving me naked to the elements… Like I said before, How far do I have to go?