'08 Aug 27 Marian had offered to take Janice (our daughter who,by the way…. is now 6 months pregnant – having a girl ) to the doctors in the city of London for her check up. She knew that she had to get up early to do what she had to do, and yet at 9:30 am, as she was preparing to leave, she called up to me (as I was in the computer room) and asked me to take the dog out to do its business as Maggie was getting anxious and she had to leave.
I left my computer and as I made my way to the top of the stairs, I told her that it was her dog and her responsibility and that it wasn’t my dog. She said that she was late and in a hurry, and I replied that you made arrangements and you know all that you have to do, so if you are late, it’s your problem. She became agitated and said, “Forget it, I’ll take her myself.” She and the dog went out the front door and I went back to my computer.
A couple of minutes later I heard her return and shout upstairs that she was leaving. A couple of minutes after that I went downstairs for another cup of coffee and I saw two big doggie “do do’s” on the dining room floor. The dog had enough time to do a whittle outside, but hadn’t finished all its business.
I felt guilty, feeling that the dog was going to get into trouble when she got back and that I should clean it up. But I recognized the guilt and let it go as cleaning up after the dog was also not my responsibility. Later she came home she cleaned up the mess, saying that she expected it. She said no more after that.
I’ve also realized that she uses the old “bait” routine, that of being the “nice” person, in that she asks and offers to make tea or to share a pizza that she bought. While she is being ”nice” it’s only a tool so that she can use that “act” of niceness or kindness to get me to do something “nice” for her when she asks me to do it. She’s only “nice” when she EXPECTS something in return. It’s the old, “I was nice to you so now you need to be nice to me,” routine and I don’t play that game no more.
PS: While I happen to be living in her townhouse and paying rent for my room, I'm no longer married to her, or have been for 18 years. This dog issue is not the same as having a child together and I made it clear before she got that dog that it was her dog, not our dog, so it is her responsisbility, not mine.