’08 Sept 02 It’s interesting as to how all old marriage issues are coming to the surface. Marian Had been talking about how she wished she had a house with a yard so that she could just let the go out to do its business a and to also let it run without having to take it for a walk. I didn’t think anymore of it as wishful thinking but on Sunday, she took my daughter with her to look at small semi-detached, older house in the neighborhood that she had seen in the paper. She came back and was all excited and began telling me all about it, even though it didn’t have a gas furnace and central air, didn’t have a garage, and that the most of the walls were cover in wallpaper that “she” would have to get rid of. She also said the agent was coming over on Monday to give her an appraisal on the townhouse. I gave her my comments as to what needs to be seriously looked at if she was serious, and that it wasn’t a good idea to have the person that had listed and was selling that house to also list and sell yours.
On Monday I had been out getting some sun (Yes I know, this is a winter picture of the townhouse :)) and when I came in the real-estate agent was in the house taking pictures. While I was introduced, I never said a word about what was going on, and just went upstairs to work on my computer. Around 3:00 pm I went down to get a snack and I overheard the real-estate woman prompting Marian as to where to sign the documents to list her house. I got my snack and went cab upstairs.
Marian gets an idea in her head and there’s no reasoning or rational that will change it. This reminds me of our marriage and how I’d get sucked in trying to make her happy, as she would not let it go of what she wanted. She would pick apart what she had until, to put an end to the constant whining and nattering, I just agreed and went along with her. Even when we were first married, everything had to be new. New apartment, new furniture, and not just new, it had to be something that others would envy. The only time we had a used apartment was a temporary lease, when we were having our first house built. After that, each house had to be new, bigger and better.
Anyway, now she is on her own and what she does with her money is her business. I feel that this is all because of the dog and that she doesn’t want to admit that she can’t really look after it and as I wouldn’t help her, she is just going to do whatever it takes to show me that she is self-sufficient and independent. With all the meds she is talking, she is not clear headed at the best of times, and now being activated into this issue, she’s unable and unwilling to give her actions any real or sound thought. I’m just happy that I can see it for what it is and not have to make it happen to make her happy.
This move is a total flip from what she told me last spring when I told her that I was quitting my job and moving. At that time, she was saying that she was going to sell and get into a small apartment, as she couldn’t afford to carry the townhouse on her own. Maybe she’s thinking that I’ll be around to help her out. It will be interesting to see how all this unfolds, but I don’t think that I’ll be around to see it all unfold and collapse on her.