’08 Sept 14 I went to the NDP meeting last night and Diane and a half dozen organizers were there, along with a couple of dozen party supporters. There was one provincial NDP member that was quite a good talker, and he had a vision of how he would like to see both the federal and provincial parties run, and the changes he’d like to make. But right now, it’s all a dream, as he is in no position to implement it. It’s also a pipe dream as both federal and provincial NDP parties are presently dysfunctional, but not anymore that any other political party when it comes to the ideas that he was suggesting.
It was also interesting listening to him explain his dream and the new programs he was proposing, that revolved around getting funding and raising “new” money to make it work. Also his idea, or dream, wasn’t open for discussion as a couple of times I got the impression that he also liked to hear himself talk and that others should just listen and agree. He never once talked about scrapping any old useless programs, or of eliminating any of the countless bureaucratic duplications and infrastructures that are in the present federal, provincial, municipal and city levels of government, or of stopping the partisan grants, and the subsidies and loans to big business that are costing taxpayers billions of dollars.
I was watching Diane talk and yes, she is a tiger. She has all this energy, passion and desire, yet at the same time, there is all this self control (imprints, programs and beliefs) that limits and restricts her, so that she is only showing the tip of who she really is. Because she can only show and express what is acceptable, she’s like this magnificent tigress that is locked in a small cage, and while others can lovingly or unlovingly come near her, she can’t respond in the way that she really wants to, as that would mean that she would need to be free, and out of her cage.
There were times when I saw and felt this wonder and excitement begin to bubble up in her, but as soon as it began to surface, she shut it down as she felt it had to be contained and tempered, so she expressed only 1/1000 of what she was really feeling. I was seeing classic denial of self in action. just to play the game that one can’t win.
It’s like she's this passionate professional ballroom dancer that is on the dance floor (Earth) and she is dancing with a partner (imprints, programs and beliefs) that is a clumsy oaf, and she is dutifully following his lead, and all the rules. The music playing is a feisty cha-cha, but all that she can do is whatever she is being lead to express, and that’s an herky-jerky rocking motion from side to side, and an awkward shuffle that's not even in time or step with the music. She is being lead around the floor and pretending she is “dancing” and happy, and doing what she wants to do. While she is living a part truth, (she is dancing) she is not free to dance to her Hearts desire, with the passion and freedom that she is capable of, and wanting to express.
Another anology is that she’s like a Lamborghini car moving around a shopping mall parking lot. The engine is idling, with only the odd momentarily rev up and acceleration, that is only a taste of it’s true power and performance.
PS: I never did get to really talk with her as she was busy with everyone there. I did talk to a man about the website problems, and I noticed that on Sunday night, they had removed the welcome page that was creating the problem.