Post 361 Mother and daughter issues and denial

’08 Sept 15 Janice (my daughter) had phoned Marian, who then told me that my mother (83 yrs old) had called Janice, telling her that she was going to be coming down to visit when she had the baby. Marian said that Janice was all upset so I called Janice to try to get to what was said, and not said. Janice was confused and upset, as she had been caught unawares. She was also in denial as she didn’t say what was on her mind and I could feel that she was feeling guilty in that she didn’t want to upset her grand-mother. Janice did tell her that she had no spare room, but my mother then invited herself to stay at Marians, but Janice didn’t tell her that Marian was moving..

I decided to call my mother and get to the bottom of it all. We had a chat and I told her that it wasn’t a good time to visit, as Janice was going to have to be having a C-section, and that she would not be up to “entertaining” or “feeding” others. I also told her that Marian was going to be moving around that time and it wasn’t a good time for any company either. My mother said she understood and said that she would come down next summer and we left it at that. I called Janice back and put her mind at rest.

JR

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