Post 440 Dog and marriage responsibilities

’09 Jan 05 1:55 pm The dog had diarrhea last night and messed up the kitchen floor. Marian had it cleaned up before I went up to make my breakfast and said it might have been caused what she has been finding to eat in the back yard. Later, just before lunch, she was going out to do some shopping and she came downstairs and began telling me that the dog hasn’t had any more accidents that at had been out and had fed and then she told me to keep a watch on her in case she had any more accidents. And that to let her out if she wanted, but not to not leave her out too long.

I looked at her and said that she is “your” dog not “my” dog or “our” dog. She is your responsibility and if she shits on the floor she shits on the floor and it will be there when you get back. I’m also not going to leave her out as she doesn’t come when I call her and I’m not running all over the yard to catch the dog. Just because I’m not going out doesn’t mean that you can make me responsible for the dog. If you are so concerned about the dog, then don’t go out. She mumbled something as she l went back upstairs and I went back to answering my e-mails.

This scenario reminds me of when we were married and how she would leave and have me look after the children. At that time I was responsible for them as they were also my (our) children. When she wanted our first child, I agreed as I also wanted children. Being a new father I also looked after him, more than my share as I felt it was my responsibility. Five years later, when she said she wanted another child (for various reasons) I also agreed, party because I also wanted another child and also hoping that she meant what she was saying this time. After our daughter was born, all she said failed to materialize and she simply went back to her old ways and even more so. And again, I was responsible… I not only had to commute one hour to work, and one hour back, but I also had to do my other chores when I got home. On top of that, I tried to spend time with our son, and also look after our new daughter in the middle of the night. Added to that OI also tended to her wants and needs as she was often sick or tired and so some house work was also my responsibility.

After seven months of burning the candle at both ends it was taking its toll on me. She was blaming her tiredness and depression on the birth control pills, and also saying that she didn’t want any more children. With all that was going on, I also didn’t want any amore children and take on more responsibilities, so I decided that I’d get a vasectomy, I for my reasons and she for hers.

She stopped taking the birth control pills but that didn’t change anything as she was still depressed, because life wasn’t going according to her plan. A year later she was diagnosed with what the medical community called post partum depression. That was the beginning of her drug habit that she is still hooked on to this day.

So now, it’s like the dog is the child she wanted yet she is trying to make me the one that is responsible for it, but now I’m having none of her little plan or game. I feel that she is also trying to live her life though our daughter. That she has to have what my daughter has that she feels is lacking in her life. My daughter has a semi detached house and yard, she has a semi-detached house and yard. My daughter has a child, she gets a dog that is her “baby”. Hummm. I just got it. She is treating me as if we were still married and I was her husband… This is weird…

JR

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