Every time you deny expressing your real anger and rage when you feel that another is being unloving toward you, you are creating denied rage that will be expressed later in an unloving manner. When you stop your real loving rage from moving, it has no where to go and so it has to reverse itself (reverse it’s polarity) and in the process it now becomes denied or unloving rage.This denied rage then sits and waits for the next opportunity to pounce on anyone or anything that has any similarity to whatever issues denied it from being expressed. Not only that, it now becomes a “collective” denied anger and rage that joins forces with the other parts of your anger and rage that you denied, and so when one is triggered, they are all triggered. That is why the strong silent person that seems calm and collected, (in denial) is the type of person that can become a raging beast if their denied rage is activated and set free. You know that you are in denied rage when you’re feeling angry and ticked off, and you just want to give another person a blast, and a piece of your mind.
When I was in my mid-twenties, and up to very recently, I had a lot of denied rage and I knew that if I was provoked into a physical confrontation, that I would loose it. When being provoked, I would tell the other person that I didn’t want to fight them, but if they laid a hand on me, that I would take that as an attempt to hurt and kill me, and that I would defend myself to the death. I told them that if they were not prepared to die, then they should walk away and leave me alone. I was serious and they knew it, and they left calling me crazy, can’t take a joke, yadda, yadda, yadda.
In my second ebook, “Three levels of healing,” http://shenreed.com/ebook2.html the third level shares my experience when I am no longer triggered into my denied rage, but allow my real anger and rage to express itself in the moment it is felt. It’s a totally different feeling and experience.