Thumper: He doesn't walk very good, does he?
Mrs. Rabbit: Thumper!
Thumper: Yes, mama?
Mrs. Rabbit: What did your father tell you this morning?
Thumper: [clears throat] If you can't say something nice… don't say nothing at all.
I call it the Thumper Syndrome when a person believes that if they can’t say anything nice that they don’t say anything at all. This belief also suggests that if you can’t do anything nice for another then you also shouldn’t do anything at all. It’s a take-off on the religious beliefs and dogma of the old “Golden Rule” of… “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”
I suffered from the Thumper Syndrome for most of my life. This denial of true expression just to be “nice” sets the person up to be in a constant state of victimization while at the same time, presenting a denied false sense of superiority that they are better, or above, saying or doing what the other person is saying, doing or experiencing and that they are in a better position than another.
People believe that being “nice” and “kind” is an expression of love, but they fail to see the unseen role of denial that is at play behind this illusion. While they may be “nice” to others, they are not being nice to their Will, the part of themselves that wants to express what it really feels. This is a classic example of the inner battle and the unseen role of denial and hypocrisy at its finest. Guilt is also a factor, in that if a person wanted to say or do something that was real, guilt would hold them back with an endless list of should or should not’s and what is politically or morally correct .