09 Dec. 23 I need to accept what has, and is happening to my body before I can heal it. I can’t deny what I don’t want and just make it go away. I need to accept it to heal it, just like healing emotions, but different. Non-acceptance of my body is not just the thoughts and memories of what I’m disappointed with my body, but also includes the thoughts and memories of the things that my body did that brought pleasure satisfaction pride etc., that made me feel good about my body. When I’m just focusing on the good memories, I’m actually trying to relive the past, the old glories and that is another form of self-hatred in that, there is no acceptance for the present moment and the present feelings. Not being able to do what I want to do and feeling disappointed is also a form of self-hatred even though it is denied.
It appears that all I have for my body is self-hatred, as even when I like what my body could do, I only had acceptance for it because I could push it beyond its limits, without it complaining, or if it did it never complained for long. So how do I heal this? I said before I need to except it to heal it just like my will and my feelings and emotions only this is different is it involves my physical body.
That means not just dealing with the present aches, pains, and degeneration of my body, but also going back to find the underlying causes and heal them. I need to find the hidden denials that created the energy blocks that set up my body to suffer and to age. I feel there are two issues here, one is denied or lost Will (feelings and emotions) and the other is the mind’s judgments, and both are being stored in my body as negative energy, and it is this negative energy that is creating the imbalances in my Body.
It’s hard to separate the feelings and emotions of the Will, with the feelings and sensations of the body and the Minds thoughts as they are all intertwined. If that is not confusing enough, there are also the false feelings and emotions that support the Mind’s judgments and beliefs, and on top of that, or underneath it all, are all the imprints programs and beliefs that say this is natural, normal, and a way of life.