Dec 25 7:02 am I feel there is something inside me that is attacking me on all levels, attacking me from the inside out and that is what my body is reflecting to me. This thing is, and has been attacking me mentally, emotionally and physically, and it’s my physical body that is now showing signs, the scars of this inner battle through aging and disease. This thing inside me is unloving light that has been fueled by my ignorance and denials. (I just went blank, it's like someone is trying to stop me)
It doesn’t want me to know the truth of what it is and how to get it out of me as that would end its ability to control and feed off of me. It also fears that if it loses one, it will lose all [the shepherd and the flock] and so….. (I went blank again)
I’m now thinking of the Garden of Eden and how Adam and Eve were told not to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil that was in the middle of the garden along with the tree of life. I feel that the knowledge of good and evil also related to the tree of life. I’ll have to check that out in the Old Testament… (Blank again)
King James Version
Genesis 2:9 And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
16 And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: 17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
Genesis 3:4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: 5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
22 And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever: 23 Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken. 24 So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life
I read the above verses and like everything else in the bible, (and other books) there are a lot of conflicting statements which I feel are intentionally meant to confuse and befuddle, to keep one ignorant, and therefore be a self fulfilling prophecy. Self-empowerment is all about challenging ones beliefs, not defending them and so I now search for a link between “the knowledge of good and evil” (which I have done in part with my healing experiences and “the tree of life,” that of healing my Body and eliminate aging.
I know that this light is Luciferian, of unlovingness, denials, power, control, judgments and that it is attached to me, in me, not just now in this life time, but that it has been for all existence, just as it has been to God. (another blank)
Hummmm? I just flashed to a post I read on facebook that resonated with me. It said, “Birth is Spirit becoming physical.” So maybe it’s not the physical body that I need to focus on, but on Spirit and releasing the old imprints, programs and beliefs that have been controlling all the other aspects of my being, my Mind, Will, Heart and Body. In as much as I’ve begun to release my Spirit [Minds] control of my Will to heal my personal lost Will, now I have to do the same with my Spirit, to recover lost Spirit and also Heart; and in the process, I’ll also be freeing my physical body of the unloving light its been holding that is causing illness and aging. My physical body is showing me the symptoms of what is wrong, what it is holding, it is not the cause of what is wrong with it. Aging and disease is not natural, nor is death and natural part of life as death is not a choice for those that desire life.