2010 Mar 30 I was at the chiropractor today and a woman (late 30’s, early 40’s) was talking about young kids and how they have no respect. I mentioned that most young children that I’ve met and know are not open to people being fake and phony, or that lie to them. She commented that none have RESPECT for their elders like they used to in the old days. In the tone of her voice, I could feel that RESPECT meant a lot to her and that her world was wrapped around getting RESPECT and being respectable. I was surprised that she had this old school “Victorian” attitude and that she was not only serious, but also activated as this was bringing up issues for her.
She mentioned that people should have good values and moral ethics, that they should conduct themselves properly and have high standards. That the young should RESPECT parents and all adults, and definitely have a healthy RESPECT for authority. She continued her rant only briefly, before I was called in for my treatment. I asked the receptionist for a pen and scrap paper, and while I was waiting for the chiropractor, I wrote a few key points.
Other qualities and characteristics associated with the word RESPECT are; Love, honor, duty, responsibility, devotion, revere, dignity, trust, loyalty, law, order, rules, boundaries, manners, cooperation, obedience, courteous, polite, kind, generous, humble, selflessness, admiration, friendship, esteemed, gratitude, serve, caring, sharing, understanding, and a host of other adjectives.
Having RESPECT also conjures up the false belief that it’s a sign, or symbol of love. RESPECT , as it’s presently defined by social and religious beliefs is an aspect of Conditional Love. The only limitation and requirement of a person’s ability to receive this conditional love is nothing short of the total submission and sacrifice of self, to the wants, needs and desires of another that is in a position of power. This form of love always carries rules, conditions and expectations, without exception.
The person in a position of power, that has the RESPECT of others, is also armed with the ”golden” rule of, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” that they use to control and manipulate others, while protecting their interests with the “not withstanding” clause of “Do as I say, not as I do,” that only applies to them and their kind. This sets up the double standard, and is a constant source of conflict.
The person not in a position of power has to meet the expectations of those in power, before they can be trusted and respected. They have to prove that they are worthy before they are accepted, not as equals, but as submissive slaves at the beck and call of their master, whom they respect and fear. While RESPECT may give the outer appearance of love, under the presentation face of love and kindness, one will find denied fear, terror, heartbreak, and rage. Living in the shadow of RESPECT , (Conditional Love) is an uneasy state of being, bringing with it a fragile and unstable peace.