Work is interesting as I’m seeing, hearing and feeling the people working around me. I not only hear what they say, but I also feel what they don’t say and how they try (keyword…. try) to cover up their issues with their shit chat, and how others play along, and do the same. There is one young guy (late 20’s) that says, that he suffered from ADD and ADHD, and as a child, and was on Ritalin. At times he talks about how he hates his mother, which is linked back to his early childhood trauma and ADD. Although he says he is cured, he is not only hyper, and lacks focus, but he has also fragmented to a point that he now has created an alter ego persona, (Schizophrenia) that he calls by his own name. He brings him out in order to sidestep an activating situation, or to get his foot out of his mouth, and accuses him of being the problem, or that he made him say or do what he did. He tries to be the joker in the group, trying to say or do funny things that will make people laugh and like him. I can relate to him as I used to do that also, not in the same way, but of similar intent.
There is another guy that pretends to have an injured and disabled left arm that he dangles at his side. He is basically sorting millet with his right hand, slowly pulling off the leaves with his thumb and forefinger as he holds the millet in the palm of his hand with his ring and little finger. All that he does with is left hand that is dangling by his side is to hold the few pieces of millet he has sorted and cleaned. Yet low and behold, at break or at lunch time, I see him opening his car door and lifting his cooler out of the back seat of his car. I also saw him opening the truck of his car and sorting things, and then slamming the trunk closed, all this with his left arm and without a problem or hesitation. He keeps to himself and I can understand why as he is yet another PLAYER and ACTOR, in the grand scheme of things.
There are also a couple of guys that will tell one of their stories to one person, and then change parts of it when telling it to another. I don’t think they are even aware that they are telling conflicting stories, as all they seem to want is someone to talk to that will listen to them. I could go on with other examples, but that is not my intent, as what I’m really interested in is how they activate me, or reflect my judgments.