Post 716 Current boyfriend and old issues

2010 Nov 05 Friday. Just as I was finishing cleaning up the dishes after supper, the doorbell rang, it was Marian’s long distance boyfriend that had arrived for the weekend. He was just coming up the stairs as I was making my way down and Marian introduced us. I didn’t remember ever meeting him, but he said that he had met me before when Marian and I still lived in Barrie.

I was confused by that comment, as for that to happen meant that Marian and I weren’t divorced, but separated, and that I was still living in our matrimonial home. The reason I was still living there was that I couldn’t afford to get an apartment because my ex-business partners had just cleaned out the bank, so to speak, having embezzled thousands of dollars from the company. To add insult to injury, it just so happened that Marian, who had been working in the accounting end of the company, had allowed this to happen, even though I had suspected wrong doing, and mentioned to her and them, she sided with them. To make matters even worse, unbeknownst to me, she was also busy having an affair at the time. It wasn’t with the present boyfriend, but a personal friend of the family that was also married and had children around the same age as our children. That was when my world was beginning to collapse.

Anyway, that’s another story and is in the books I’m writing. So tonight he’s going to be sleeping with her in the room, not directly above me, but above the room next to me. I don’t have any feelings one way or the other as to what is happening. I don’t know the last time they were together, but it’s definitely a long distance relations. It’s interesting as she has talked about him before, and he is so totally opposite me. He’s in the Canadian Government / Military special ops forces, involved in secret operations in Canada, USA and NATO, so he is travelling a lot. To hear her talk about him it’s like the secrecy that he is involved in (that he tells her about and makes her swear not to tell) is a turn on for her in that she now knows something that others don’t know.

I’m now thinking of the past and how I felt betrayed by her for doing what she did, but even that is no longer an issue for me, as now it’s more of a feeling of gratitude. I now know that I had to go through those experiences in order to begin to understand how, and why I had been betraying myself, and then to go through the gradual process of healing those issues.

On the weekend, I was organizing my computer programs and files, so I was in my room most of the time. I did go out for breakfast on Saturday morning and they went out for most of their meals, so we never had any contact, although I did hear them walking around.

2010 Nov 07 Sunday. I never did see him again, and he left early Sunday afternoon. For most of his visit, they stayed in her bedroom because the dog was rambunctious when they were in the living room and I could hear her scolding the dog. I know she didn’t want to lock the dog up in the laundry room downstairs, or put her in the backyard, so I guess the bedroom was where they locked themselves away so that they could have some peace and quiet.

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