Since my move to Regina, what I’ve been finding is that I’m the man in the middle. My mother, brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews are telling me things about one another that they don’t dare tell the person to their face. So while I’m walking in this world of denial, I refuse to be part of it and so it’s going to be interesting as I begin to tell each one, not what is going on, but that each one has a different point-of-view of the truth, that when all put together, makes a pretty good picture of what is really going on, the issues, the fears, the secrets and the denials that are present.
Besides what they say, I also pick up on what they don’t say and I also see, hear, and feel what’s really going on when they get together and interact with one another. It’s a weird feeling being “outside the box” and seeing my family and their friends still inside the box. It’s like they are all living in their own little time warp fantasy world in which they all pretend as best they can to “get along” with one another, but it’s all a show, an illusion of a reality that isn’t real.
I’ve never experienced this before. I mean from my present point-of-view and even with my ex-wife and my daughter, it was more of a one-on-one situation as I long ago dropped out of any of my “in-law” social functions after the first year as I never felt comfortable pretending that I believed in Xmas, Easter, thanksgiving, 1st of July, or even sports events or whatever they were celebrating and I told them that. I also didn’t know their past, but from what I was feeling, what they were saying was a part truth at best