Another thing that I’m also seeing is that my Mothers, brothers and sisters versions of the past have changed and I’m especially noticing that with my mother as she is only focusing on the “good” things. To hear her talk now about the past compared to how she talked and what things were like when I lived in Regina before I left for Toronto, is like black and white. If I hadn’t experienced it, I’d think that we all had a beautiful childhood.
It’s not that she has changed, although she is a “born again” Christian, it’s just that she is more in denial and so it appears she has changed but it’s the denials that distort the reality she is presenting, not only her reality, but also all those around her. What I see her doing is trying to live “Heaven on Earth,” but sad to say, it’s in a state of denial.
When I challenge her, most of her replies revolve around “forgive and forget.” The only thing that comes out of that denial based belief and action is that she pretends that what happened either didn’t happen, or that it didn’t have any effect on her or others. So while she may have totally pushed what happened out of her conscious memory, that doesn’t mean that others have, or that the situation has changed or been resolved.