Just a brief note…. It's only been today Sept 05, that I'm getting back into the land of the so-called living. I’ll tell you more in the next few posts as I wasn’t to keep this blog in a linear time frame.
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Aug 31 7:15 a.m. Money is the big issue and judgment here. Having money is what makes people happy as they can buy and do what they want. The people that have lots of money don’t really have to work as they use other people money to get richer. Others group together like thieves in unions to protect their interest and while they’re not rich, they aren’t hurting as they are being provided for. The so-called “American dream” is all based on MONEY. Money talks. Money makes the world go round.
Without money you have no power to have or do the things that people with money have. To get money you have to work for it and earn it. You even have to work and earn money just so that you are able to survive, to put a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food on the table. People don’t like you when you don’t have money, especially if they have money. Money is freedom. Money is a substitute for Love.
This isn’t a new issue for me as I’ve been dealing with this all my life. My parents were dirt poor farmers. My Mom and Dad had a farm but he lost it gambling trying to better his financial position. We then share-cropped for a couple of years but that didn’t work out either so we moved into a small town where My dad got work at a local garage until he got sick and couldn’t work for over a year. Things were tough and people brought us food and clothing to survive.
Money wasn’t in my vocabulary until I started school and saw how all the other kids were dressed and what they had, the food they had and the things they had to play with. That’s when I realized that I was different in another way than I already was.
I felt that money, having money was what was missing in my life. Hummm, I had felt love was missing, but I never realized that I also equated Love was related to money and that I rationalized that it was money that was missing and that if I or my family had it, then I wouldn’t be feeling as rejected and unloved as I was and that I would be treated like the other kids that had money and were treated nice. Also the more money you had, the more friends you also had because you had more things to share with them. Just one of the imprints I put into place was, having money is good, and not having money is bad.
I just flashed to my recent beginning of my journey in 1990 when I realized that even though I had the business, money, houses, cars and toys; money didn’t make me or anyone that I loved happy. That’s when my old life began to fall apart with getting divorced and getting rid of a business partner that was stealing me blind. After that, although money was not my goal, it was still an issue for me as I still needed money to survive. So now I’m back to this issue again. I’ve really got my wired crossed when it comes to love, acceptance, happiness, power and money.
JR
Saysame (Says-a-me) 