Aug 31 8:48 a.m. During breakfast I got that my body is involved in all this as I forced my body to earn and make money so that my Mind would be happy. My Mind has all the imprints, programs and beliefs and judgments about money and the power of money. My Mind pushed my body to do more and earn more money. My Mind denied my feelings and emotions which are then also stored in my Body. Body’s only form or temporary release from the stress put on it by both the Mind and the stored denied Emotions was to either some form of exercise or through sexual release.
Part of the reason for exercising was to also get bigger and stronger so that the Body could do more of what the Mind wanted it to do and having a stronger healthier Body also gave the Mind a better self image, but when the body reached that goal, the Mind then wanted MORE. Mind also hates Body for letting it down and into being able to look like it wanted it to compared to others that Mind judged were in a better position because of their Body form. Mind hates the feeling of being this powerless and so Mind denies and shoves the feeling and emotions down and out, but since they have no place to go, they are also stored go in the body. Body and Will (Feelings and Emotions) also hate mind for what it has blindly done to them and to itself.
When Body feels stresses to the max, Body is then left with the only energy release outlet it has…. rage sex. There is no love there; just denied hatred for what it has to endure. At least with sex, it can at feel good about something and feel loved and wanted even it is only a temporary relief. But it’s not love that the Body is giving or getting or taking in, it’s denied love, an “act” of love, of being nice, caring and kind and feeling good, that the body mistakenly believes is love. And so instead of sex being a release, which it is in part, it also adds to the original problems and issues with more denials and unloving energy.
9:04 a.m. In R.U.O.W. Heart was almost killed and lies damaged and fragmented in what is called the plane of reversal. The part of Heart that remained alive after being struck has also been running in imprints and has done what it could in order to try to survive and be happy. Love was what Heart was reaching for and it got smacked by unloving light instead and was almost killed. The imprints in Heart are, don’t ask, hope or dream of getting or having what you desire. Be happy with what you have. What you want is only available in your dreams. You don’t deserve love or you wouldn’t have gotten smacked. Your desire is wrong or how you ask for what you want is wrong. You are wrong, no good, and defective. Love is not real. Love is something that you have to earn. You have to give love to get love. You have to be nice and kind so that you will be treated nice and kind.
Wow! I can feel how scattered real Heart and love is and how I’m trying to find it out there in the physical with people, places and things, when my Heart is not only fragmented and broken, but almost dead or is dead in some places. I just felt heartbroken that these parts of me are dead, or in this moment, I feel are dead and I feel it has to do the Psychopathic Killer as he is heartless, whereas Lucifer is heartlessness where Heart is barely alive.
JR
Saysame (Says-a-me) 