2011 Jan 08 8:36 am While sex is meant to be an expression of love between a man and a woman, sex has, and is, being used as an expression of power and control. I was thinking of my past life as Caesar and my relationship with Cleopatra (a much younger woman) a fragment of whom I have met in this lifetime. While not the same, the circumstances regarding our relationship were similar. In that past life, the issues were all about power and control, on both sides, as both parties were using each other and stroking theirs and each other’s altered egos, fanning the flames of passion and desire with denied rage that was lusting for power, glory and grandeur. Sex was used as the tool to achieve each other’s goals
For a man, a younger woman is a way to try to recapture their youth, along with her being a prized possession, a trophy, to be put on display. There is also a feeling of being needed, and of being a protector, a knight in shining armor. For a woman, an older man is a way to feel safe, secure and protected, and feeling less threatened by her loss of beauty. Being on display draws attention to her that she also desires. Wow! This is BIG! There’s more, a lot more, and this is just the tip of the iceberg.
9:17 am While power and control seem to be the issue, what’s under this superficial struggle is denied fear and terror of loss of power and control. I was just thinking that the biggest terror a man faces is losing his virility and ability to perform the sexual act, (Hummm? Good choice of words… ACT) because an erection is a symbol of power, the lack of one means the opposite. A woman doesn’t have to physically “perform” as a man does, as she can fake an orgasm, while a man can’t fake an erection. For a woman, her silent and denied terror is in losing her beauty and sex appeal, her ability to attract a man, and so losing her beauty is her symbol of a loss of power. I was thinking of all the media hype about women looking beautiful and men keeping their virility, and how all sex is really in denial and denied rage, vying for power and control. It’s all there, wrapped up in old imprints, programs and beliefs.
Beside the mental “feel good” feelings of accomplishment, and of having power and control, there is also the Body’s “feel good” sensations released by the endorphins during a sexual climax that add merit to the mental judgments already in place. Sex is used as a temporary “quick fix” for whatever the denied rage thinks it needs to release the pressure it is feeling of having no control. When denied rage explodes in a man, and because a man is bigger and stronger than a woman, rape is usually the outcome.
As a side note, I said man and a woman as any gay or lesbian I’ve met and worked with has had some form of sexual abuse in their early childhood that has altered their gender choice. That is not to say that the same power play scenarios I mentioned, don’t also play out in gay arrangements.